Reflecting on my Reflection

Reflecting on my reflection… unfiltered at age 47.

I have spent my whole life in this weird dichotomy of loving myself and critiquing myself, while simultaneously telling women to unapologetically love themselves.

So I’m here to remind you that while I teach self love and self care, I am a work in progress and every day is a new day to work on it.

I look back now at my old pictures when I was master trainer and teaching huge classes at conferences and I was so hard on myself… and I was in great shape.

Great shape means something different now. My body doesn’t respond to exercise the way it used to and really I am literally exercising to stay strong and healthy.

I simultaneously thank this body for being mobile and strong, and criticize her for not being 22 anymore.

Sister, we are not supposed to be 22 forever. Isn’t that the point? Our bodies change our skin changes our hair changes. Shouldn’t it?

Shouldn’t we be excited to be mobile on our legs and able to think quickly and move (relatively) quickly?

I know that’s true, but in the split mind of the ego, she is still at the back door, saying “you have to do SOMETHING to improve the shape of those arms.”

I lift weights, I walk a few miles every single day. I practice yoga and Pilates. I treat my body like she is the vessel for this life because she is.

And yet I’m not completely free of that back door mean girl.

So I’m here today to tell you it’s normal, you’re beautiful, and KEEP GOING.

And Happy Mothers’ Day to the mothers of ALL KINDS

Love you much.

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