The Only New Year’s Resolution That Ever Worked

  • New Year, New Goals?
  • New Year, New You?
  • New Year, New LIFE?

Oh, Brother. Let’s try again.

This is the ONLY way a New Year’s Resolution has ever worked for me, and thank GOD other coaches are getting behind it.

It’s about Habits, NOT goals.

And definitely not about “changing yourself.”

Remember Fitness in 1994?

See, I had been not only a non-exerciser, but an ANTI-exerciser my whole life. I had the typical stories in my head that I would get too big or too masculine or too…. WHATEVER. And that I would hate exercise because of all the sweating…

And then my friend almost literally DRAGGED me to a Step class in 1993. Remember STEP? Well, ladies. I walked into that room, the music cranked up, my high-ponytailed and thonged step instructor started bouncing over that Reebok Step, and I was HOOKED. I looked around and said “These are my people. This is where I belong.”

And I looked at that instructor and said “I will be teaching this class in 6 months.”

That was in September 1993.

In January, 1994, I resolved to start an exercise habit. I would go to the school athletic center (FSU Leach Center) every day and accomplish SOMETHING, whether it was a class or anything around the club. I loved being there (hello, sense of community!), and I felt such a draw to this way of life.

I certified in Group Exercise in February, and by Spring, I was teaching that class.

I envisioned it. I knew it somewhere deep inside me. Not like it was a WISH, but like it was internally DICTATED. That was what I was going to do. This was who I was becoming. And the simple daily action of showing up was all I needed to do.

Other years had been the stupid goal setting and falling victim to that horrible SMART technique that everyone was latching on to, and I failed. And when I failed, I hated myself.

Setting goals that had nothing to do with that internal KNOWING, and creating goals without a simple daily action were not conducive to anything productive. I didn’t become more myself. I didn’t accomplish anything but self loathing. And if anything, I set myself backward 3-5 steps every time. Plus the agonizing time it took me to pull myself out of the fetal position, regroup, convince myself that my life was worth moving forward (seriously). And take the next steps.

So what about this year?

2023 is right around the corner. I see my easing into this year of my life. Not pushing or dragging something around with me. I have an open curiosity of what it could be. I have some things I want to learn and dig into and try. I want to take those daily actions that help me be more myself. And that’s all, really.

Maybe I’ll write another book, maybe I’ll start another course or program. Maybe I will have a new membership. Maybe I will teach a new class. I don’t know. But I will continue to move every day, eat quality foods, get outside, drink lots of water, sleep well, meditate, and be kind to myself as I navigate not just the start of a new year, but the continuance of being a mother to teen girls. When they see me being me and loving who I am, as well as practicing positive habits, they think that’s normal.

The other…. the self loathing and the anger for failure… that’s not normal. That’s not how I want them to live. That’s not how I want to live. And so, I have to remember who is watching.

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