How to be The Worst Boss in the World

Before you ask, yes, this is speaking from experience. And yes, this is all ONE boss.

I’ve been sitting on this a while, but just wanted to write it down so I would never forget.

This is how you too can be the worst boss in the world.

5. Have different rules for the same work.

In this scenario, you have the same role and same job in a couple of different areas. The pay is different and the requirements are different. For example, people who live in the same city as said boss have to go to an office every day. People doing the same job in other places don’t have to go into any office.

Difference? Hours spent in transportation, money spent in work clothes and food. Nevermind the stress that it can take on people who prefer working from home or a hybrid. It’s like punishing people for living in the wrong town.

4. Control people’s personal decisions.

No one denies that there are certain protocol to how you look, act, and behave in an office or work environment, but when you change rules to include whether or not someone is allowed to smoke or drink on their own time, it’s outside your range of control and is invasive.

3. Gossip about employees to other employees. And then pit them against each other

To be a terrible boss, you would have a work meeting with one employee and then walk into the office talking about private matters and their personal dislike for the person, using names and details.

Also, make sure to nominate a “Dwight Schrute” to monitor everyone in the office and report back details about who was talking and/or laughing, or spending any time doing anything other than staring at their computer screen.

2. Make sure family does not come before work.

Your work hours are your work hours, regardless of how well you have done at work and whether or not your work is complete for the day, week, or month. Therefore, there will be no privileges around work hours, including:

  • kid activities. Never let someone leave to see a school performance or attend a school event
  • family visiting. Family coming in town for a long weekend, but they get here at 4:30 on Friday afternoon, long after everyone else has finished working? Too bad, Sally. You’re not going anywhere. Grandma can take the bus and wait for you on your porch.
  • niceties. The boss will be gone every afternoon for nail appointments, hair appointments, spa appointments, and “mental breaks,” but employees? They need to earn their paychecks. Work hours are work hours.

1. Lie about benefits and perks

Offer health insurance, but make it impossibly expensive and make sure it doesn’t really cover anything, to keep your expenses on the cheap and make sure employees know they are responsible for themselves.

Pretend to be a family person. Promise your employees maternity and paternity leave, but don’t put it in writing. Then, the week before baby is due, mention that they will not be paid a dime of any kind of leave and remind them that you were working immediately after birthing all four of your children (yeah right).

If the employee invokes FMLA rights (reserving their spot at work for 6 weeks, without pay), then fine. Hold that position for 6 weeks. But as soon as FMLA is done, fire them.

That’s how you, too, can be the worst boss in the world.

I wish I were exaggerating, but for cruel and greedy bosses, this is their way of ruling over employees. They will continually remind everyone that they made it to the top on their own (though you know they cheated their way there or stole it). They will pretend to be the “fun” boss. They will pretend to be “with” the employees. But in the end, they are just mean people that take out frustrations on others and horde, cheat, and steal their way to wealth.

On a serious note, when you are being misused at work:

  1. Join a union if available
  2. Know your rights
  3. Keep notes or a journal
  4. Keep your options open

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *