Which sticks more, flattery or criticism?
Have you had a moment where you can release yourself from both?
Wow that’s hard, right?
Because we want to define ourselves by flattery… and we default to define ourselves by criticism.
But neither are true.
I got my first job in fitness (when I was 19) because I “look good in that leotard.”
I was equally flattered and appalled…. as well as pressured. To keep that image. In fitness, a lot of times, we feel like an image.
Over the years, I’ve been picked apart by various fitness entities, public and private, and I latched on to that too.
“Not toned enough”
“Not ripped enough”
“Too skinny”
“Not the right body type.”
And when I was injured?! Oh don’t get me started.
I know my sisters AND brothers in the industry have gotten their own peanut gallery criticisms, too, based on their genetics and basic body makeup.
Letting go of all of that feels like dropping the bar at the end of the workout. Done. Drop it. Walk away.
The other side of that coin is flattery. I’m very uncomfortable being flattered. My brain argues with flattery. “No you’re NOT,” and “don’t let them down now!”
Pressure!
So I have walked away from people who have been over-complimentary or when I feel they become too reliant on me.
Where does the balance come in?
Well… it comes in knowing WHO I really am. Critics don’t know. Flatterers are seeing what they want to see.
I am that I am. I am whole. I am free. I am the totality.
And I’m uncovering more every day. Free from what others think or say. Just being. A little more every day.
I’m so grateful that I have the opportunity to just be the guide now. I write, speak, and teach from a place of guidance, not showmanship. It feels way better and less full or pressure than feeling like I’m supposed to be some kind of focus. The work is the focus. I’m the guide.
And I’m guided BY something far greater. That is freedom.
Would love to hear your stories of freedom from criticism and flattery. How are you doing with that?